


A "Genius" Solution (pt. 1)

by Lucyverse



Series: "No Puppies Allowed!" [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Birth Control, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 18:16:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8906899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucyverse/pseuds/Lucyverse
Summary: In which Poppy saves the day (?)





	

Remus often wondered why time deliberately slowed itself down whenever there was an unnerving crisis on his hands.

And this _was_ a crisis, contrary to what Minerva might say. In fact, she was lucky he hadn’t torn the clothes from his back and dived head first through an open window by now. Because somewhere in that godforsaken castle there was another werewolf spreading his scent in every corner and if Remus remained trapped in a classroom for much longer, he would most certainly lose his will to live.

‘I think I have the answer,’ Poppy blurted out unexpectedly after ten minutes of studying a fat, hardback book dedicated entirely to werewolf fertility. McGonagall had tidied Remus away into the hospital study so he wouldn’t cause any more trouble and the poor man had been pacing up and down the place for a good hour, ‘there is such a potion that, if consumed on a regular basis before and in between sexual encounters, will demolish any chance of pregnancy – 99.8% medically accurate.’

‘Like werewolf birth control? Oh Poppy, if it puts an end to this torture, I’ll do it!’ Remus almost sobbed, seizing the woman by the shoulders, ‘I’ll drink a gallon of it – two gallons!’

‘Just half a cup will suffice,’ replied Poppy, wriggling out of his grip, ‘but unfortunately it’s Severus who we’ll need to convince. It only works on the carrying male and I can’t imagine him agreeing to something so drastic-’

Her voice cut off when she saw Remus’s expression.

‘...well, I suppose he might make an exception in this case. But I still need to find the required ingredients and I’m not as young as I used to be; so, help an old lady out and take this list, will you? I’ll start preparing the formula as soon as you’ve found all the items.’

‘You’re a star, Poppy,’ Remus all but sang and took off with the list right away, not caring if he had to tear up Hagrid’s entire vegetable patch to find the ingredients.

Meanwhile, Madam Pomfrey took a moment to pat herself on the back. She could see it now. “Magnificent Nurse Prevents Werewolf Breeding Pandemic.” She was so smart, it was almost criminal.

* * *

‘I heard you managed to sort out our little problem with Professor Lupin and Professor Snape, Poppy. I must say, I never imagined it would be possible, but you’ve done the school a great service.’

'Minerva, I’ve done something terrible.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You might want to sit down.’


End file.
